A Jar Full of Love

Pet peeves. We’ve all got ’em. I hate it when guys leave the toilet seat up and I fall right into it in the middle of the night. I hate it when someone takes the last of anything and doesn’t restock it or add it to the grocery list. I hate it when the express checkout lane of 15 items or less is full of carts overflowing with groceries.

In everyday life, it’s easy to slip into a negative state of mind without even knowing it. If like me, you really want to live a life that contributes positively to the people around you and the world at large, then all you need are couple of tools that will help you to do what we call The Flip.

If I hate it when guys leave the toilet seat up, then the reverse is that I love it when they don’t. If I hate it when someone doesn’t restock after taking the last of something, then the reverse is also true… I love it when they do. The Flip is simply reversing the negative to a positive. Super simple to do, slightly harder when it comes to breaking our habits of complaining, whining, and blaming.

Last week, at our Leaders of the Pride Workshop, one of the attendees shared an idea she had implemented in her practice called the “Love Jar.” For one week, she asked everyone on the team to notice their pet peeves. She asked them to write The Flip of those on a post-it note and place in the jar she had labeled the “Love Jar.”

Starting the following week, they pulled one or two notes from the Love Jar to read at their morning meeting.

  • I love it when I walk in the kitchen and people have washed and put away their own dishes.
  • I love it when someone is nice enough to do their dishes as well as all the others that were left in a rush in the sink.
  • I love it when my team mates have a few extra minutes and ask what they can do to help me.
  • I love it when an administrator asks the clinical team for our advice about where and when to put an emergency patient.

If you want to reduce negative behaviors, then encourage the good ones. We always find what we’re looking for, so this week… look harder for what you love than what you hate. I promise you’ll find it.


“It takes but one positive thought when given a chance to survive
and thrive to overpower an entire army of negative thoughts.”
~~Robert H. Schuller

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