Music Monday: The Other Side of Fear

I just saw a quote today by Jack Canfield that said, “Everything you want is on the other side of fear.” You won’t agree with that statement if you already have everything you want. And I would say you were right. In some areas of my life, I have everything I want and it’s definitely not on the other side of any fear.

But, for the parts of my life where I do not have what I want and I dream of something different, there is almost always some fear, small or large, standing between me and that dream. If you don’t have everything you want in terms of freedom, money, success, love, health, home, free time, or work and you ask yourself why you don’t have it, there’s a good chance there is something you fear which is blocking you from stepping into that future. Fear of failure, fear of what others might think, loss of security, even physical harm. Whatever it is, since it hasn’t materialized yet, is currently a story or tape we are playing in our minds. And every time we allow it to play on, we add to it, and it grows and grows until it is almost felt by us to be the truth. But how can that be if it has not happened yet. It’s a possibility but not a truth. And it’s only one possibility.

21579747_sAnother phrase I recently heard from a friend was, “I’m going to wait to worry,” which suggests that since to worry means we are contemplating things that have not yet occurred, if we wait to do that we may never actually need to. This is the tact I’ve been taking lately when it comes to what I fear.

In an interview with Jennifer Hudson about her upcoming role in the Broadway musical The Color Purple, Hudson stated that the world is filled with so many great singers and she has no explanation for why she should be one of the ones who continues to enjoy such an amazing array of opportunities. She said she only knew that as long as she just kept saying yes to and walking down the road toward her personal dreams, didn’t think too far down that road, and was enjoying the exploration of her current projects, life just continued to open up in ways that blew her mind. She said, “I only know that I love to sing and so that’s what I pursue… opportunities to do more of what I love to do. Singing is just what I do.”

I’m not an extraordinary person with any kind of extraordinary talent. Speaking and coaching are just what I love to do. Just like Jennifer Hudson and Mindy Gledhill (who wrote my song choice, “Whole Wide World,” for this Music Monday) suggest, I am just a “little girl with great big plans.” I’ve always found my way eventually down any road I’ve walked. And if I use that as evidence of how the future will go, then I can just keeping walking down the road toward my dreams and wait to worry about the things I fear will happen on the way. I’ve decided that if they do show up at all, I’ll just continue to figure it out as they come. What’s the alternative? Stay where I am, continue to worry, and just keep pining for what I really want? Or worse yet, sit and feel bitter or jealous of others who have obtained what I want? No contest there.

Autumn has arrived, my favorite season of the year. Hearty soups, crackling fires, sweaters and scarfs, earthy colors, brisk walks, and a subtle slowing as we ease into winter to be reborn again with vigor in the Spring. On those walks, sipping that soup, and gazing into those flames, you can almost touch those dreams. This week as you’re gazing, consider the lyrics to this month’s song suggestion and take a chance. Take a step. Remember that “all failure is fleeting and trust it always has its meaning.”

Whole Wide World Video Graphic

Mindy Gledhill – Whole Wide World

I’m gonna walk a hundred miles
I’m gonna walk a hundred miles
I’m gonna whistle all the while
If that’s what it takes to make me smile
I’m gonna walk a hundred miles

I’m gonna run right up this hill
Summer sky or winter chill
If I gotta take a break I will
But I’m gonna run right up this hill

I wanna hold the whole wide world
Right here in my open hands
Maybe I’m just a little girl
A little girl with great big plans

I’m gonna go and take a chance
I’m gonna learn to ballet dance
Learn a little something ’bout romance
I’m gonna go and take a chance

I’m gonna live a crazy dream
Impossible as it may seem
Doesn’t matter what the future brings
I’m gonna live a crazy dream


You tell me, “don’t try it”
I’m warning you that I won’t buy it
All failure is fleeting
I trust it always has its meaning


~~ San Diego Workshops in February 2016~~
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